11 Ways to Ruin What You Have to Say

11 Ways to Ruin What You Have to Say


Don't worry about who you are writing for. Emulate the big boys, GM and Ford. GM marketed its Chevy Nova to Spanish-speaking people in South America where that word No-Va means 'It won't go.' And Ford decided to change the nameplates on all its cars in Brazil when people pointed out Pinto was slang for 'tiny male genitalia'. (Kinda fits though.)
Don't forget to use 'you' a lot. That always makes people feel included. You'll see - that's how you'll feel now that I'm using 'Iyou/I' to complain.
Don't settle on your main point too soon. Let it all hang out. You'll get around to it, eventually. (You don't have one? Even better. )
Don't give your reader too much proof. Don't bore them with the details. That's what they say, isn't it? Instead, offer your reader stuff that is distracting. Look at how well a recent presidential candidate fared with the words, "Yes we can."
Don't explain your terms. Don't try to help your reader understand what you mean. You don't have time. Everyone means the same thing by the terms you use anyway. But be sure to use them a lot. That'll show how smart you are. Explaining something in 'plain English' would make your point too clearly, and no one ever does that.
And don't go looking for examples. No one ever got into the college of their choice by using them. I guess that didn't work for my 17-year-old daughter either, who just got a full fellowship by doing just that.
Don't worry about how to organize what you're saying. It's better to just let it flow. It'll come out fine in the end. Don't offer reasons when asked why, or use steps to explain how, or tell the 'real story' when asked to explain what happened.
Don't check your work. Everyone is going to know what you mean anyway. Just look at the brilliant ad campaign that said "Nothing sucks like Electrolux."
Don't worry about grammar or spelling or vocabulary. Peopel won't notice. You didn't, did ya?
In short, don't think too carefully about what you're going to say. It's not your job to make sense.
Oh, I lost count. Well, I was done anyway.

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